“What if you could raise your child's self esteem in 10 playful minutes a day?

I spoke with a friend the other day who has an 11 yr old with AD/HD. She resisted medicating her son with Ritalin until the psychologist told them that her son’s self-esteem was suffering from the consequences of AD/HD behaviors. The mom was advised that Ritalin was the answer to help with her son’s self-esteem issues.

Now the boy is being medicated. The annoying AD/HD specific behaviors have diminished somewhat BUT now he can’t sleep.  So back to the doc they go and the doc wants to put my friend’s 11 yr old on sleep aides! She says no they’ll deal with the sleep disturbances.

So lack of sleep and increased anxiety, also due to Ritalin, are causing depression. Back to the doc they go and now the doc wants the boy to be put on an anti-depressant – and sleep aides and Ritalin! No, my friend holds tough and rejects the anti-depressants. Then the boy starts getting severe headaches. What does the doc say – more meds, of course.

My question is, “What cost is the cure?” Is this the best that our medical community can do? The answer is yes. Our doctors are trained in allopathic medicine, a discipline whose purpose it is to find the right drug to cure the disease.

There are other answers. What about an answer that does not involve drugs or side effects but gives a child the tools to feel positive about himself? He can discover the strength already there inside and learn to develop that strength until it becomes a dominant part of his personality. In essence the child learns to empower himself.

And what if these positive changes can take place in just 10 playful minutes a day? Incredible right? And what if those 10 playful minutes a day are spent with his most terrific parent - You?

Let’s go back to my friend’s problem. The reason she gave in to the doctors and put her son on Ritalin was to save his self-esteem. There are other ways as described above. My program for raising a kid’s self-esteem in 10 playful minutes a day is one. It’s called Superhero-Self-Esteem™ where we build confidence from the inside out to empower your child.

The beauty of this program is that it’s inexpensive, has no side effects (except for bright eyes and smiles), FUN and is quality time for parent and child to share. The workouts are easy to do and guaranteed to make you laugh and smile and discover new strengths together.

Just for fun, ask your child if he feels a strong place inside of himself. Most children when asked will say very matter-of-factly that they do feel that strong place. Next, ask your child to tell you about how the strong place feels; then ask when he discovered it. Ask him to help you find your powerful place. He may not have answers to all of your questions, but you have now started a very important dialogue.

It’s essential that you listen to your child’s answers with curiosity and respect. There is nothing right or wrong about a feeling deep inside. I have learned so much from children’s total honesty – listen carefully and you will learn something wonderful about your child.

Be playful and have FUN! 

“Speak up I can’t hear you when you mumble!” Have you ever heard that one? The answer is most likely, “Yes!” When you were growing up you heard it from your parents and you have probably said it to your kids.

Your parents, and now you as a parent know the importance of clearly spoken words. How are you going to get the answer correct in class if the teacher can’t understand you? Will you place an order for “3” or for “free?” Will your child speak strong enough to be heard at all? 

Speaking in a strong voice is essential to having your needs met in this crazy world. A child that is anxious usually has a very quite voice. These little games help a child have fun using the voice in a non-threatening situation. The voice also becomes stronger each time they play.  As the voice becomes stronger, so does your child’s confidence to speak up!

Play these little games with your child. Your voice will also benefit. These are tried and true vocal exercises used by voice professionals to strengthen diaphragmatic breathing and to focus resonance or sound vibration. But the most important rule of the game is to share some playful time with your child.

1. Be a bumblebee. BZzzzzzzz! Use your finger or a small object as the bug and BZzzz it all around. As the bug goes higher, try to let your voice go higher.

2. Be a fly. Vvvvvvv! Use your finger or a small object as the bug and Vvvvvvv it all around. As the bug goes higher, try to let your voice go higher.

3. Be a snake. Sssssss! I bet you have a toy snake somewhere. Find it and add the snake sound. Let your child be the fly, Vvvvvv and you be the snake Ssssss that’s going to eat the fly! Play around with pitch and intensity of sound.

A strong voice contributes to strong confidence. The confidence to answer a question in class; the self-assurance to say, “No” to peer pressure; the self-esteem to say, “That’s so not cool” to a bully. Begin right now! Be playful and have fun!

For more information on conquering the evils of poor self-esteem, please visit www.SuperheroSelfEsteem.com

“’Here I come to save the day!’ That means that Mighty Mouse is on the way!” How does Mighty Mouse know he’s needed? If I need Mighty Mouse how do I call for him? Will he rescue me if I want him to?

I for one would much rather have a Superhero that I can call on any time I need instead of waiting for a mouse in tights and a cape to come to my rescue singing like an operatic baritone. I have a Superhero inside of me and so do you. We all have a Superhero inside of us.

I’m talking about a place inside, I feel it right behind the belly button, that feels strong and sure. We all know at some level where our confidence resides.

The incident they are calling “Miracle on the Hudson” where a US Airways flight went down in the freezing waters of the Hudson River with 135 passengers aboard – everyone survived.

Inspiration guru Tony Robbins sent out a video message stating, “Everyone one of us has a hero inside.” Everyone one of us has the capacity to be a Superhero.

Get Superhero Self-Esteem™ workouts 1-5 for FREE! at www.SuperherSelfEsteem.com

You can all nurture and strengthen our internal hero so when you hear, ’Here I come to save the day!’, you know it’s your own Superhero coming to the rescue!

What an amazing gift to give your children. Take a look at Superhero Self-Esteem workout 1-10 to build your child’s self-esteem in just 10 fun minutes a day. Who knows, your kid may be a hero in the making!

Visit us at http://www.SuperheroSelfEsteem.com for more tips on strong, simple self-assurance and get Superhero Self-Esteem™ workouts 1-5 for FREE! 

When my kids were very young, I was privileged to be able to stay home with them. When they wanted to play baseball, they went out in the back yard and waited for a group to gather and they’d play a game. My kids didn’t have homework until they were in 5^th grade.

Today my grandson plays baseball on a team with uniforms, coaches, even a batting machine. They practice 5 times a week and have games on the weekend. My grandson is 7 yrs old. Every practice is after a full day of school. That’s a lot of pressure for a 7 yr old.

As much as everyone complains about not having time to breathe, the pattern of over scheduling your life isn’t going to change. So let’s put some Superhero breathing to work.

In the car on the way to the baseball game or dance lessons or the mall, take a moment to breathe with your child. Turn the radio off and use this little exercise to lower the heart rate and your anxiety.

Breathe in as you slowly say to yourself, “Breathing in.”

Breathe out as you slowly say to yourself, “Breathing out.”

Repeat at least three times. You’ll feel more relaxed. Be playful and have fun. 

There is a seesaw cause and effect with self-esteem on one seat and anxiety on the other. As self-confidence drops, anxiety goes up. As self-esteem rises, anxiety drops.

Today’s article gives you some simple breathing tools to lower anxiety and raise self-esteem.

Anxiety produces changes in brain chemistry that cause physical reactions. One of the most common is that you become rigid with fear and barely breathe. Your heart races, blood pressure shoots up and your feel as though you might faint.

Three slow breaths in and out lower your heart rate, lower blood pressure and lower anxiety. That’s as simple a solution as you can find!

Say to yourself Breathe in 1, breathe out 1; breathe in 2, breathe out 2; breathe in 3, breathe out 3. Think about the breath coming into the lungs and going out of the lungs as you count. Try it right now. Don’t you feel a bit calmer and more clearheaded?

How long did that take? At most, 3 breaths in and out will take about 25 seconds. 25 seconds to lower anxiety with a simple breathing routine. It doesn’t cost a thing, you can repeat it endlessly whenever needed and any child of any age can do it.

Teach this breathing exercise to your child to use when s/he feels anxiety coming on. Do 123 breathing along with your child and lower your own heart rate. There’s no right or wrong for these breathing techniques, so just dive in and give it a try.

Repeating 123 breathing on a regular basis creates a tool for lowering anxiety. When I’m working in the recording studio with a singer, I can see when their stage fright (anxiety) begins to interfere with a good recording. All I have to do is give the singer a gentle reminder to count 3 breaths in and out. I then see the terror subside from their eyes and they are back in the moment with the music.

It will be such a relief for your child to have a simple tool to use any time his/her anxiety begins to take over. Having such tools at his/her fingertips is essential. Learning tools that do not require any outside props or adult assistance is empowering. This feeling of empowerment raises confidence.

After you’ve taught your child the exercise, and have repeated it many times with him/her, when you see the fear rising in his/her eyes, you can suggest that s/he use the 123 breathing. Leave the choice to do 123 breathing up to him/her. If s/he choose not to use it, that’s fine. 

If you show an interest in using 123 breathing for yourself, your child will catch on. Eventually the motivation to do 123 breathing in a tense situation has to come from your child choosing to use it and having a successful experience or two.

Be playful with 123 breathing and have fun!

For more tips on lowering anxiety and raising self-esteem in 10 minutes a day, please visit me at http://www.SuperheroSelfEsteem.com  

You’ve all heard, “When I was a child we walked to school. Up hill. Both ways.” As kids these stories made you roll your eyes. They did not make you feel as though you were so much better off than your parents had been.

When my Dad told similar stories I couldn’t relate. The disconnect happened because my Dad was trying to force a lesson on me that I didn’t have the experience to appreciate.

When you want to build your child’s self confidence, it’s best to remain non-judgmental and to take yourself out of the equation.

Here is a story I use to open up children’s imaginations to the concept of being an Ordinary Superhero – a strong and confident person. Your Superhero is the strength you posses within. This story is about becoming aware of and using tools you already posses to feel strong and secure. 

Did you know that everyone has a Superhero inside? Let me tell you a story.

Lisa is an animal lover. She loves puppies and kittens and hamsters and birds and ferrets and fish and bunnies, oh, the bunnies! Lisa especially loves bunnies.

Lisa’s family knows how much she loves animals so after dinner they turn the TV to animal planet just for her. Trouble is Lisa hates watching animal planet. She hates it when a sweet little bunny gets eaten by a hawk. She just wants to cry and run screaming from the room!

But Lisa knows her family is watching the show just for her and she doesn’t want them to be mad at her for not watching. She’s too afraid to say anything. She’s afraid her family will make fun of her, or be mad at her, or send her to the garbage dump, so she keeps quite. But it’s getting so bad that just thinking about watching animal planet makes her feel sick!

Lisa stops eating much at dinner because she’s afraid she’ll get sick. Mom and Dad are really worried about her and ask why she won’t eat. But she doesn’t know how to tell them what’s wrong!

Then Lisa feels it, deep down inside she knows she can do this!  Actually, Lisa feels like there’s another person inside her, someone who’s been there all along – a very strong and brave person – kind of like a… a superhero! Yah, that’s it, a superhero!

At first Lisa’s Superhero is very faint – just a small feeling right behind her belly button. Then she discovers that when she concentrates on that Superhero feeling inside, it gets stronger. Lisa even thinks she can tell her big brother to stop teasing her!

So Lisa finds her Superhero again and lets it grow strong inside of her. And wow, does she feel terrific! Lisa finds her voice and asks Mom to please pass the potatoes.

This is great! Lisa even gives her superhero a name, “Super Animal Protector” and she feels strong and good about herself. And guess what? She isn’t afraid to talk to her family any more.

So the next night, the family heads to the TV room. Lisa starts feeling sick, but she makes a choice. She’s going to tell her family how she feels. Mom turns on Animal planet and here come the snakes. Oh no, not snakes. Snakes are not animals! They’re reptiles! And they eat bunnies!

Lisa is about to cry, but instead she feels Super Animal Protector, lets her grow up inside and says, “Hey everybody. Thank you for watching Animal Planet just for me. But the truth is I hate Animal Planet so I’m going to my room to read a book about raising healthy bunnies.” And that’s exactly what Lisa does. And she feels strong and good about herself.

Everyone has a superhero. You do too!

Please share this story with your child. Share your experiences with self-esteem and times when you’ve pushed through the barrier of anxiety. It will have a profound effect on his/her ability to tap into and use the strongest part of him/herself, Superhero Self-Esteem.

Visit us at http://www.SuperheroSelfEsteem.com for more tips on strong, simple self-assurance. 

Children love stories. You all do. You watch television and movies to get carried away by a story. You relate to the character you see on the screen who has similar life challenges. You compare your abilities and potential to the larger-than-life stars of the screen.

Stories have been used since the beginning of time to teach new concepts and raise awareness. If you are particularly inspired by a story, it may spark a change in your thinking and/or behavior. A good story wakes up your thinking in new and different ways. 

When it comes to raising self-esteem, a good story about someone who struggles with an issue of confidence, who has a step-by-step process that is followed to overcome a lack of self-assurance, and is successful in overcoming anxiety, can be inspiring and even life-changing.

Here is a story I use to open up children’s imaginations up to the concept of being an Ordinary Superhero – a strong and confident person. It is about tapping into the strength you posses within. It is about becoming aware of and using tools you already posses that can easily be used to feel strong and secure. 

Did you know that we all have a superhero have inside of us? Let me tell you a story.

Matt is a really, really good soccer player. He wants to be on the soccer team. Trouble is, to play on the team, he has to tryout in front of the coach and the other kids, and Matt is really, really shy. So he keeps practicing his dribbles and getting better and faster – he feels good. Then he realizes it’s only 3 weeks to tryouts and he starts getting nervous! What if I screw up in front of all those people?!

But Matt keeps working the ball and practicing. Now tryouts are only 2 weeks away and he starts tripping and missing easy goals! What’s wrong!

Mom says he’ll be fine. Dad says not to worry that Mr. Jones is the coach! Well, what dad doesn’t know is that Mr. Jones son, Randy Jones, is the meanest kid in the whole neighborhood and is always teasing Matt. Great! That makes him even more nervous! And his soccer playing gets terrible! 

Now it’s 1 week to go until tryouts, Matt is messing around with the soccer ball when he feels it, deep down inside he knows he can do this! Actually, Matt feels like there’s another person inside him, someone who’s been there all along – a very strong and brave person – kind of like a… a superhero! Yah, that’s it, a superhero!

Nah, this is too weird! But it’s there! So Matt finds his superhero again. He lets his superhero grow strong inside of him. Man, does he feel great! Like he can do anything! Then he goes back to kicking the ball. Score! Score! Score!

This is great! Matt even gives his superhero a name, “Super Soccer Guy” and he feels strong and good about himself. And guess what? He doesn’t feel as nervous any more. Not even Randy Jones can get in his way now!

Matt is going to try out for the soccer team and he’s going to let “Super Soccer Guy” grow strong and tall and he’s going to play the best ever! Yeah, Matt!!!

We all have a superhero inside of us! You so too!

Please share this story with your child. Share your experiences with self-esteem and times when you’ve pushed through the barrier of anxiety. It will have a profound effect on his/her ability to tap into and use the strongest part of him/herself, Superhero Self-Esteem.

Visit us at http://www.SuperheroSelfEsteem.com for more tips on strong, simple self-assurance. 

Raise Children’s Confidence with Good First Impressions 

What if you could raise your child’s self-esteem in 10 playful minutes a day?

Your child’s self-esteem is either beaten up or beefed up by a cycle of communication. All sorts of information is unconsciously fed back and forth between your child and others through body language and voice.

Statistics show that a first impression is made in the first 3-10 seconds of contact. Not much time to establish yourself, but enough for someone else to form an opinion about you.

What kind of impression does your child make with body language? What clues does your child give others about her/his confidence, vulnerability, friendliness, shyness? A slumped posture, lack of eye contact and a weak voice give a markedly different impression than erect posture, direct eye contact and a clear, strong voice. The two opposing postures also elicit opposite responses from others – thus communication happens.

Your child’s current cycles of communication may be feeding low self-esteem by drawing a negative response from others. That cycle can be changed. And it’s easy and fun to do! 

Did you know that we all have a Superhero inside of us? We do – every one of us. Your Superhero is that place of strength where we know we can achieve anything and feel positive. It’s called Superhero Self-Esteem™.

Usually we think of a Superhero as a physically powerful person with senses and strengths beyond anything we have or ever will achieve. We certainly do not think of ourselves being Superheroes. A Superhero has to be someone with greater than normal human power. Right?

Picture a superhero – Superman, Wonder Woman, Spiderman. Picture the way they present their bodies. Chest held high, hands on hips, piercing eyes looking right at you, personally powerful and confident. What a physical presence! They exude confidence without saying a word. Their body alignment speaks for them.

Well, not all Superheroes use force and physical strength to conquer the evils of the world. Some Superheroes use their creativity; some use intelligence and research; some use their strong sense of civic duty; some use humor; some use their gentle and unwavering support to raise their children. 

These people are called Ordinary Superheroes. They are all around us. You are probably an ordinary Superhero yourself! Talk with your child about both kinds of Superheroes to open the doorway to finding the Superhero inside of him/her.

Here’s an exercise for you to try with your child. Begin by having a conversation with your child about who and what is a superhero.

Then make two lists of people you who are Ordinary Superheroes – one list is yours, the other your child’s. Have an honest discussion about why you chose certain people. For instance, both of my parents would be on my list because they were such kind people. And my friend Glenn because of his philosophies on life that always encourage me to keep going strong. 

Compare your lists and discuss why each of you thinks these folks are Ordinary Superheroes. Pay particular attention to how these Ordinary Superheroes present themselves. What is their posture like? Do they look you in the eye when they are talking? Can you hear and understand every word they say? Do they smile a lot? Is their tone of voice encouraging? And any other quality that you think is important to an Ordinary Superhero. Be playful and have fun!

For more Superhero Self-Esteem™ info visit www.SuperheroSelfEsteem.com Superhero Self-Esteem™ workouts and help your child raise self-esteem in just 10 minutes a day. 

Childhood anxiety has become epidemic in proportion. Children are feeling unbearable panic that manifests itself as school anxiety, separation anxiety and social anxiety. Some people blame the child for just wanting attention or blame the parents for spoiling their children. But intense anxiety causes real panic and real suffering.

When battling anxiety the struggle just to get through the day can be so exhausting that you feel weak and disinterested in life. The speaking voice becomes weak and barely audible.  To speak a few words can feel like more exertion than it’s worth leaving a child literally without a voice.

Anxiety begins in the psyche then takes up residence in the body where it causes all sorts of havoc. The breastbone caves in, the shoulders get tight and hunched and the neck turtles forward. When posture is collapsed, so is the mechanism that produces speech. Since the body is the instrument that produces speech a child’s ability to speak with a strong voice is literally squashed.

Giving voice to feelings, wants and needs is essential to strong self-confidence. Encouraging good posture is the first step to easier, more natural vocalization. The simpler the physical action of producing sound, the more readily your child will be to speak up for himself.

Begin by playing around with your child as you try to stand like a Superhero. Give each other pointers on what a Superhero looks like. Bold stance, open chest, hands on hips. Have fun with it keeping in mind that there is no right or wrong. Then try the Superhero Self-Esteem™ vocal exercises below.

Voice Exercise 1

You be the orchestra conductor. Use a pencil or other object as a baton. Establish what your conducting movements mean. Small arm movements equal small sounds, large arm movements from the conductor equal loud sounds.

If your child is really having trouble speaking, let her be the conductor and you respond. Be playful and have fun.  Then you take your turn as conductor and start small. Ask her to say her name very, very soft then gradually increase your arm movements encouraging her to say it louder and louder and louder. Please no judgment on your part, just cheer her on. Remember that any progress is good. It is hard to overcome vocal challenges. Give your child credit for every small increment of increased volume.  

Repeat this exercise often to accustom your child to using a strong voice. Your child will feel self-assured. 

Voice Exercise 2

Adding physical activity to sound is a great way to unlock the voice. March in place with your child and count to 10 (or 20 or 30) in a strong voice. The physical action of marching connects the voice to the body for stronger, more supported vocal production.

March right alongside your child to give him support and to let him know that it’s ok. Repetition of this exercise will make the voice grow stronger.

Be playful and have fun!

www.SuperherSelfEsteem.com offers practical solutions to help restore your child’s strong, free voice. Kids discover the strongest part of themselves, their Superhero.

“Yes, you are a nobody without good posture!” Anonymous

School anxiety is becoming a bona fide epidemic. Children are feeling unbearable panic that manifests itself as school anxiety, separation anxiety and social anxiety. Some people blame the child for just wanting attention or blame the parents for spoiling their children. But anxiety causes real panic and real suffering.

The struggle just to get through the day when battling anxiety can be so exhausting that a child ends up feeling weak and disinterested in life. Anxiety begins in the psyche and then takes up residence in body where it causes all sorts of havoc. The body caves in at the breastbone, the shoulders get tight and the neck turtles forward. This new body alignment becomes habit or “normal” posture to a child.

Muscular tension that results from anxiety tends to re-align posture to the point where a child actually looks different. A young person can begin to resemble a tired little old lady instead of a vibrant child.

Body language is a significantly large percentage of communication. Statistically, the words we say are only about 7% of communication. The other 93% is tone of voice, eye contact, diction and body language, with body language weighing in the most heavily.

When anxiety and low self-esteem live in the body, instead of a spunky, happy child open to friendship and fun, others see a dejected, fearful child. Body language that says, “Leave me alone,” “I’m sad,” “I’m scared” causes others to respond accordingly. Body language screams out loud – without a word being uttered! How sad that when a child needs friendship and support the most, his body language is saying, “stay away!”

Slumped posture also changes breathing patterns. When the body collapses, you have to work harder to breathe because the breath path is now crooked. It requires physical effort to get the breath to move through the body, causing a further energy drain.

So what’s the solution? Unfortunately just telling your child to stand up straight never works! Here are a couple suggestions to help your child regain her natural posture.

Superhero Self-Esteem™ Posture Exercise 1

Children are extremely intuitive. Keeping that in mind, here’s a game to play with your child. Look through the pictures of people in a magazine or book. Have your child tell you what message a person is sending with their posture. No judgment, just observation. You can begin by giving your opinion and you child will follow your lead.

Then adjust your posture to different attitudes and moods and ask your child what she thinks your posture says. Be ready for anything. Remember this is not judgment, but observation.

Then have your child look in the mirror while messing with his posture and let him tell you what it is telling other people. This will give both you and your child a new awareness. At this point you can begin to make changes.

Superhero Self-Esteem™ Posture Exercise 2

Try this Superhero Self-Esteem™ posture exercise with your child.

Stand with feet hip-width apart, arms resting at your sides.

Raise hands straight out to the side up to shoulder level, palms down.

Turn palms upward, then lower hands to your sides.

Turn palms toward legs.

Posture will be straighter. With restored body alignment, comes a restored sense of internal strength. Breath flows easily and healthfully. Your child will feel empowered with the ability to change how she looks.

Have fun and be playful with your child!

www.SuperherSelfEsteem.com offers practical exercises to help restore your child’s positive body language.